i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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