I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
