You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
