ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize