and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
