He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
