The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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