This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
where does the pee come out of this thing
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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