I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She swung at the pinata with crutches
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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