is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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