So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
