come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
