We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
