Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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