yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize