I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
