His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize