just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
