4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
