I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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