So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
