Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She even gives head with a lisp.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
