Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
