So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
