I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
