There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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