I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
