Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
