C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
