I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
