I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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