My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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