Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
