me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
