the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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