I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
