I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
