New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize