Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
