Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
