So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize