BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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