My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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