He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
