how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
