You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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