Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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