I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so let's talk penis.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
