My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
