i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
