i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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