apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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