some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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