you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
