that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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