Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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