We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
do herpes really smell.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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