I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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