I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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