It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize