I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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