if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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