I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
