You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize