cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
