My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
