Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
