Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
