Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
